This Dude Totally Hit On Me in Church Today

This dude totally hit on me in church today! Not the dude in the picture. That’s Mormon Jesus. But the smile is kind of the same. You think I’m kidding? I’m not. Like he hit on me right there in church! I mean, isn’t that taking “sharing the love of God” a little bit too far? Maybe not. Poor bastard. I mean of all the place to meet someone, I guess church is not even near the bottom of the list. But he was sitting on my left! Couldn’t he see that big ole size 11 Tiffany platinum wedding ring on my finger?!
Look I ain’t tryin’ to be mean or nothin’. I’d actually noticed that he was a pretty attractive fellow (when he came in late and marched across my feet to his seat.) I remember how I hated being single too, so I really can’t blame him for being on the lookout. God knows I was for most of ten years between Sonny and Adam. But I really just came to worship today. I didn’t want to “feel the love” quite in that way.
What an asshole I am. I oughta be glad that somebody thinks I’m handsome. But when he turned to me after church and said, “Wow, you really have my heart beating fast,” I couldn’t beat a path to the door fast enough. Wow, I really am an ass. Or maybe I’m just in a foul mood today. That shouldn’t be the case. The good news this week. A nice motorcycle ride through the canyon today.
If I was a single man and was as interested in him as he seemed to be in me, it might have made a good beginning to a beautiful love story. But sorry bro, I’ve got all the husband I can handle.
What a shitty blog. I hope my numbers don’t go down! Now that I said what I said about that poor sweet guy, they’re going to know what a jerk I really am.
Oh well. It is what it is. Better post it. If I don’t get this revised bio and the treatment for “Yankee Doodle Faggot” to Jennilyn, she’s going to send a hit man after me.

PS Dennis hasn’t come back yet and this is my second day without smoking.