Quitting Smoking is Easy

Well, Adam and I are just getting in from “game night.”  We get together with a bunch of cool, smart, imaginative, queer folk on Monday nights and play Cranium, Password, Scattagories, Taboo and next week we’ll play Wii Guitar Hero.  We all lead such busy lives. But it’s worth it to make the time to do it.  All work and no play make for a pretty sad life.  We’ve got great friends and I love spending time with them.  We play from seven to nine SHARP and everyone has to get the hell out at nine. It is a school night after all.  We’ve been doing it for a couple of months now and it’s a high point in my week.

Since the potting soil smoking incident I must admit I went and bought a pack.  I bought another after that.  They really just don’t work for me any more.  My body isn’t as young as it once was and all the ways I’ve treated it badly over the years seem to show up more quickly.  I’m very clear that, among the other things it once did for me, smoking is an anger stuffing activity for me.  And I get angry at a lot of the shit that floats downstream these days.  Political shit mostly.  But smoking depresses me. Plus, I’ve got to be in the best shape of my life by the time we open in New York. Tomorrow I go back to Crossfit.  So…. after Adam and I (yes, he get’s sucked in too whenever they’re around) smoked the last two in the pack tonight when we got home, I said a prayer.  I’m absolutely powerless over them once the drug is in my system and it seems, after years of going long periods without them and then “picking up” in moments of great stress, I’m powerless over going back to smoking.  Mark Twain said “Quitting smoking is easy.  I’ve done it hundreds of times.” In my prayer I asked God to take away the desire and also to help me keep from reaching for them when times get rough.  I want to be around for a while longer.  My life is actually getting good and I have a lot more I want to accomplish before I check out.  There was a time when I couldn’t imagine going a day without alcohol and now it’s been over fifteen years since I had a drink.  If I can go without drinking, I can go without these nasty fucking cigarettes.

Y’all keep me in your prayers.