How I Met Adam, Part 7

One of the most bizarre things about riding the Biploar Express is how quickly the weather changes.  After the blowup with Hank, after I had freaked out for the rest of that day, I started to crawl out of the blackness.  I was able to go be around some other recovering alcoholics.  I made it to the gym and started to eat again.  In some ways you can start feeling better almost too fast in a way that makes you doubt the reality of the depression, or at least to downplay it.  But that can turn that train right around and head you back towards Depressionland so I try not to over-think it.  I did tell Hank that I thought we should not hang out for a few days.  What had happened had scared the shit out of me and I needed to just keep it real simple and continue to try to get better.  I apologized to him and told him I’d call him when I was up to it.  So, as I have so many times in my life, I pulled myself together (with God’s help) and started to live life again.  It’s hard to describe the feeling during periods like this.  There’s an incredible amount of relief of course and at the same time, you still feel pretty much feel like that train ran you over.  To continue with the train metaphor, it’s like you’ve been going a hundred and ninety miles an hour through the darkest and scariest parts of the universe on a haunted train.  When you see you’re through the rough patch, at least for a while, it can leave you reeling…and looking for better ways to travel.



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