How I Met Adam, Part 10

I had only known Adam for a few months and we had only been a couple for a little less than two.  Remember I said he moved in on our first date.  When I say we had been like an old married couple pretty much from the start, I mean it.  We relaxed almost immediately into a comfortableness that I’ve always though would only be possible after a couple had been together for years.  Things were great but I wanted to make it official.  It’s unfair for those idiots who oppose marriage equality for gay folk to think they have the right to deprive us of what everybody else takes for granted AND something that is so much a part of our culture.  We are told when we are kids, “When you grow up, you will meet someone you love and get married.  I’ve always wanted that too.  And I mean to have it.  When we got to Alabama, my family received him like…well, one of the family right away.  In fact, he and my dad started palling around so much, I finally said, “Hey Dad, you mind if I have my boyfriend back?”  As I think I told you, Adam’s first degree is in mechanical engineering and he built his first computer when he was something like 12 years old, so when my dad started asking for Adam’s help with the computer, I just went to the kitchen to visit with Mom.  My dad’s favorite hobby in the world is riding the lawn mower so when I heard it crank up outside, I figured he was done with Adam.  Not so.  I went out and there was my future husband giving my dad’s Zero Turn Radius John Deere 450 for a spin.  I just laughed and sat down on the hillside to watch them.  I really had nothing to complain about.  My Church of Christ deacon dad had come a long way since the day that I came out of the closet to him and mom…and I love him for it.  As soon as she got the chance, Mom started her own version of welcoming Adam.  My mom is really great and she just loved him up like she’d given birth to him herself.  After a couple of days, it was time for me to take Adam camping. Oak Mountain State Park is right outside Birmingham.  I’ve had so many good times in my life; camping, canoeing and mountain biking.  It’s one of my favorite places to go and I wanted to propose to Adam there.  So we packed up the tent and headed for the hills.  Now remember that it’s December in Alabama and it gets pretty cold.  In fact, that first night the thermometer would dip to 17.  That’s  pretty cold.  About sunset, before it had gotten near that cold, we built a campfire.  We huddled close to it and watched the phantoms take shape in the flames.  One of the things that I love the most about my relationship with Adam is that we can sit together for hours and just enjoy each other’s company without feeling the need to fill every minute with verbal conversation.  Our spirits converse just fine in the silence.  My mother’s family is Cherokee and I have always been interested in Native ritual and beliefs.  I often burn white sage as part of my meditation practice.  I pulled out a smudge stick by that fire that night and started pulling the smoke toward my heart with waves of my hand.  Adam loved me from the start, I believe but even to this day, he’s still getting used to my ….uh, unusualness.  He’s not boring by far but most of the things he’s interested in don’t fall far outside the bounds of your average straight guy.  After a long silence, he just looked over at me and said, “Whatche burning there, Moonflower?”  He makes me laugh so hard.  That’s another one of the things I love about him.

I can’t remember if I told you or not but when Adam “officially” moved in with me, i.e. when we stopped renting the apartment he was no longer living it, he gave me his key and I went there one day to get all his stuff.  I piled it in the back of my Tundra in one afternoon.  He didn’t have that much shit.  Basically some power tools, his clothes, and a map of where his brother’s ashes are strewn.  I had found a harmonica in the drawer of the desk at his old place.  I had always wanted to learn to play so I started carrying it around with me.  I guess I’d never played it in front of Adam before that night by the fire.  He said he didn’t know I played and I told him that I didn’t, that I had found it in his drawer when I took him hostage…er, I mean when I moved him.  “Oh. That’s Rueben’s.”  He said.  Rueben was Adam’s younger brother.  He was killed in a skateboard accident when he was 14 and Adam was 17.  I’m sad that he left the earth so soon and that I’ll never get to know my brother-in-love in person.  I keep the harmonica with me on special occasions and think of him.  I’ve developed a sort of relationship with his spirit that gives me comfort.  I listen to stories about him from Adam and from the family but I let them bring the subject up.  When I meet someone outside the family who knew him, I ask them to tell me their experience of him.  Recently I was in Seattle and I hung out with a guy who had been friends with Adam and Rueben.  We were walking down the street headed to a screening of Semper Fi and I asked him to tell me about Reuben.  Just then, we past a street musician who took out a harmonica and started to play it loudly.  A wave energy rushed over my body and I knew that he was there.

So I sat by the fire that night and played to Adam until the flames slipped down leaving only coals.  The temperature was dropping fast so we cleaned up the dinner dishes and headed for the tent.  We held each other close to stay warm and I was thinking of the next day when I planned to propose.  “I love you so much.” He said. “One day I’m going to marry you.”  How weird that he should say that on that night.  He’d never said anything like that before.  After we made love, he feel asleep and I lay there wishing the sun would hurry…to make the forest warmer and so we could get to top of that mountain and I could show him the rings.



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