Democrat=Republican. Believe the Spin! Vote Romney In!

I would like to encourage all of you who vehemently (and daily) proclaim “there is absolutely no difference between the Democrats and the Republicans, Romney or Obama,”– all of you self-described “progressives” or “liberals” or “intellectuals” or “free thinkers” or “Socialists” or “Communists” or “anarchists” or (fill in the blank, you get the idea) who are so much smarter than we stupid Obama supporters are to please, please, please, please, please get out there and vote for Mitt Romney on November 6th.  Because (depending on who you talk to) just about half of America is hell-bent on voting for a man that has the support of all those people who gave you Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Rove and the like. But you’re right, Democrats are basically the same as Republicans so please, take your “revolutionary” ass down to the pole and– NO, don’t vote for some third-party candidate on principle (if you were serious about ending two-party politics in America you would do more than bitch about it every four years), I want you to vote for Romney. With your help, those snake handling Klan members may actually get their way. I want you to get the deep satisfaction of showing me how wrong I was– how things will be “just about the same” for blacks, for immigrants,  for LGBTQs, for women, for workers, for education, for NPR stations in places where there aren’t enough educated people to keep the lights on.

If you think for one second that Obama would not have had his grassy knoll or Lorraine Motel if he had… brought all the troops home from everywhere they are so we could immediately and once and for all end this “militaristic empire” and raise the Palestinian flag over Jerusalem (and just tell the Jews to shut the fuck up about homeland or holocaust) and defunded the military and given all that money to the oppressed and written and executive order to deny corporations personhood and hell, while we’re at it just pretty much declared or proclaimed or (however y’all are under the deception that this government works at all) –if you think he could have singlehandedly done aaaaaall the things YOU wanted HIM to do despite the efforts of the most powerful money machine this world has ever known trying their best to shut him down, you are an idiot.

Please. Vote for Mitt Romeny.

Please let me show you how bad things can really get.

Please, you poor working class Southerners who hear enough pulpit sound-bites to convince you that “he’s our man” while you sentence your children to lives of indentured servitude, BELIEVE THE SPIN-VOTE ROMNEY IN!

But ESPECIALLY, those of you who are actually intelligent and aware enough to know that there ARE drone strikes killing kids in Pakistan, you ESPECIALLY should keep doing everything you can to AVOID a second term for Obama because I GUARENTEE you that unless one of them gets shot before the election Barak Obama or Mitt Romney will be President of the United States come February.

And if you’ve convinced enough people to, at the very least stay home, then maybe we’ll be lucky enough to have a Romney presidency. Then YOU can really get to see how JUST MAYBE it wasn’t exactly so smart to keep spreading that “one is as bad as the other” shit to people stupid enough to believe it.