Using Time Wisely

My friend sent me a list of symptoms of underearning. The first one is:

Time Indifference. We put off what must be done and do not use our time to support our own vision and further out own goals.”

Boy does that one hit me square in the gut! The way I trick myself into doing this is by letting the things I do instead of using my time wisely in support of my goals be things that so clearly are “important.” Often they are things that I feel like I “should” do to “help” others. Or I will spend a whole lot of time working on some goal (like physical fitness) and let the other things that seem less fun— or more accurately I should say the things that bring up a lot of fear— get ignored. “Yes, I know I need to make those calls or sit down to finish that script or research those Arts grants but I do need to work out because fitness is part of my goals.” I use fitness as one example but there are a thousand other things that I will do to avoid doing the work that I know I need to do to see my goals be realized.

Another thing I’ll do is I will spend hours and hours doing things that seem like they will help me along my path. Support group meetings, meditation, reading books on the artistic process, talking to other artists— all these things are important but oftentimes I have used them as excuses not to do the actual work. There’s also always some chore that “needs my immediate attention” that I can put in front of doing the action items that I’ve been lead to do for the fulfillment of each goal. The truck needs to be washed, I need to take those clothes to the cleaners, someone I love has asked me to do something for them— the list goes on and on.

I’m only at the beginning of this whole process so I don’t want to pretend I know any more that I do. I know that because I’ve been praying for help so fervently that this new way of looking at my problems and more importantly how to see them solved has come my way. I am already very grateful for that.

When it was alcohol that I was trying to get sober from, the first thing I had to do was put the plug in the jug. With regard to underearning, it’s not quite as clear what all I need to abstain from — I’m still not completely clear how to define “sobriety” with regard to underearning. I’m reading some very helpful material and listening to speakers on MP3s who have experienced what I have and are now living happy and fulfilled lives. I’m choosing to take comfort from that I can say I’m feeling pretty hopeful. I didn’t get into this mess overnight and I know I won’t be out of it overnight. But I don’t feel like I’m going it alone. I have y’all, my faithful blog readers, I have others who have recovered from underearning, I have friends and family who love me, and I have the support of the Creative Force that made me and wants the best for me.

See y’all tomorrow.