Pray Your Asses Off– Cause It’s Working

Photo on 2-5-15 at 11.44 PM

The next on the list of “Symptoms of Underearning” that my friend sent me is:

Not Following Up: We do not follow up on opportunities, leads, or jobs that could be profitable for us. We begin many projects and tasks but often do not complete them. 

BAM! This symptom, maybe more than any of the others, makes me say, “Yeah, I got this underearning thing for sure!” Which in some weird way makes me feel better because maybe if when I figured out (was told actually) that my alcoholism meant I was sick and not bad, maybe the same is true of this malady as well. Disease or not, I’ve seen how that model has been used to help others recovery and I am willing to go to any length to lick this thing.

With regard to the listed symptom specifically— “did not follow up…” Dude! If I had followed up on half  of the leads that had come my way there’s no telling where I’d be now. I shudder to think of the business cards given me by people who were in a position to help me further my goals that ended up in the bottom of a drawer somewhere.

And the part about beginning projects and not completing them?! Out of fear of rejection, I have left so many almost finished in my computer that if I went back and finished them all and got them on the road to production, it would be a while before I ever actually had to start anything new!

Okay, so I got this symptom too. Let’s focus on what I’m doing right. What you feed grows so I’m going to focus on gratitude and the couple of “attaboys” I can give myself tonight and let the “I’m a dumbasses” go sit in the corner. I started tracking my time today. The time tracking sheet looks like a crime scene but at least it’s a start. I plan to go back to using the Pomodoro technique that the other Jeff Key turned me onto and also implement some of the other useful hints I’m learning through the stuff I’ve found online about underearning. I know that it will work. It’s not rocket surgery. Straight up— if I have goals— and I have an idea about action items I need to undertake to reach those goals— and I manage my time wisely to do those action items— and I reach out for help when I’m too scared to do the action items— and I change tactics if those action items prove not to be working— and I don’t give up— and I work hard— and (here’s one that will throw you for a loop) refuse to take work that leads me away from my goals— and I don’t give up (yeah, I said that already but it bears repeating)— and I have faith—I really don’t see how I can fail.

Today I got a phone call that left me speechless. That, as you can imagine, doesn’t happen often. Y’all know that I have a dream of producing these next three scripts while providing apprenticeships for other post 911 veterans. Y’all also know that I’m not sitting on a stack of cash. I had a number in my mind that I wanted to be the startup capital for this next project. It’s in the thousands. I got a call from the mother of a young soldier who died in Iraq. I love her very much and I had done some activism alongside her in California. I have an unique feeling towards parents of service members who died in my war. I always feel like I want to protect them. I always feel like their kid is aware that I’m with their parent, that I care about their parents and that somehow it pleases them. You may think I’m crazy. I’m just sharing something that is special to me— something important. Today when the mother of this soldier called me to let me know that the memorial fund set up for her son would be giving a large sum to The Mehadi Foundation— wow, I find myself in a similar place now. I don’t know what to say but “thank you!” The endowment is in the exact amount I had been praying for. Mind you this is not my money but the money that will get this next project off the ground for my foundation. The commercial side of the production will still have to be funded and I still have to find funding for me to find a place to live in New York, food to eat while I’m getting this baby off the ground— but what a powerful demonstration! I tell you I sure don’t understand nor do I have to understand why prayer works but it does.

So with that in mind, pray your asses off! Pray that I will find the right and perfect place for me to live in New York City, a place that welcomes me and my fur babies because I can’t live without them. They are my PTS support network. Pray that the way will be made easy for me to move into our new home without having to go through a lot of bullshit. Pray that it is safe and clean. Pray for the money to cover my rent and utilities and still have money for the gym, my food, and some left over to take a sexy man to a play or ballgame when I can. Pray that the right producers/theatre will come forth and champion this project and perhaps most importantly, that veterans who will benefit from this service will find us and find help and solace in the creative process like I did. I want so much to be of service to my fellow veterans and I know that this is the best way that can happen.

Our prayers, good vibes, positive visioning, tenacity, hard work, and money can make that happen. Again, pray your asses off.

See y’all tomorrow.

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