Need Directions?

I’m way up on the UES (that means Upper East Side) for you non-New Yorkers—

I’m one of those annoying people who really doesn’t know his way around New York that well (even though I’ve been coming here for years before I even lived here and lived here for six months before I went to Alabama for a year and—)

I’m one of those annoying New Yorkers who—

I’m one of those people who really doesn’t know his way around New York that well— some people can, without looking at their phone or a map, tell you how to get anywhere you want to go in any of the five burrows and—

I’m one of those people who doesn’t know his way around that great but I’m always all to happy to try to help people get where they are going if they are lost— especially if they look like they are visiting New York— most especially if they are visiting from another country.

I am not, however, someone who will risk getting someone lost when they are visiting my fair city (the best city on earth, Center of the Universe) so I will go to great lengths to make sure that I’m not giving them bum info.

(back in Bushwick, hours later)

Well, here it is 21 minutes after midnight and I’m just now—

See y’all tomorrow