Fuck Fear

What if everything was okay the way it is? What if I never made a million dollars? What if I died without paying off my student loans? What if I never owned a house? What if I never could completely forgive everyone that had hurt me in any way? What if this was as fit as I was ever going to be and what if I never met anyone else to marry? What if I die single? What if I had already had the most successful time in my career? What if I didn’t change anybody else’s mind about anything? What if the friends I have now are all the friends I’m ever going to have? What if I didn’t sell any of my shit on eBay? What if I couldn’t sell the RV? What if I ended up drinking again one day? What if there was a Republican in the White House for the rest of my life?

What if The United States of America never stop depriving gay people of their rights? What if ISIS took over the Middle East? What if I continued to write the blog but no one ever read it? What if I had to get a job flipping burgers to feed myself? What if no one cared what I thought? What if no one understood me? What if I created art but no one liked it? What if my dogs died?

What if my teeth fell out? What if I got a deadly disease? What if I ended up staying in Alabama for the rest of my life? What if I could no longer afford to belong to a gym? What if the house burned down? What if I got charged with some horrible crime that I didn’t commit? What if no one believed me when I say I didn’t do it? What if the people who owe me money never paid me? What if I went broke? What if I had a motorcycle accident and had to type using eye movements? What if I never got a hard on again?

What if Mom never started taking any better care of herself than she has for the last fifty years? What if I started smoking again? What if I didn’t achieve one single goal on my goals list? What if they finally did make the movie from my screenplay and everybody hated it?

Could I be okay?

Could I possibly be okay if all my fears came to fruition?

Yeah, I reckon I could. I could be okay. I’d make it through somehow just like I always have. I am a survivor. I would be okay in the end.

So since the likelihood of all my fears coming true is pretty dang slim, I reckon things are just fine.

Fuck fear.

See y’all tomorrow.