Home Again, Home Again, Riggaty-jig-jig

Look, I’m not going to keep y’all long tonight because I know you must be tired from the long drive from New Orleans. I know I am! It is, you’ll have to admit, certainly lovely to be back in this bed together at home. There’s no place like home (repeat 3 times).

So where we at? How y’all doing? By this point I’ve heard privately from quite a few of you and I want to say thanks for sharing your personal struggles and triumphs with me. That’s where it’s at, y’know? Sharing. Shana was reading to me on the drive in tonight from a Huff Post review of the book Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari. It’s about the drug war and also speaks to the causes of addiction in the first place. I’ll read the book but haven’t yet. (I’m always a bit cautious when I hear about a book or “new” program to address addiction in that they often include shit-talking the means by which I was able to recover. Beside the point.) According to the review, the book talks about isolation and loneliness as being not only byproducts of addictions but also causes it. I think there’s a lot of wisdom in that.

Let’s stick together, shall we? The more I hear from you all, the more I’m convinced that therein lies the solution. I’ve always had an aversion to the jingoistic use of the idiom “United We Stand” because they always seem to leave out the rest: “Divided We Fall.” The meaning to the idiom is much richer if you include both parts.

I’m home for a month now before I travel again. I’ve had a great time flitting around Nashville, Atlanta, The Gulf Coast, and New Orleans over the past few weeks but now it’s time for me to sit my ass at my desk for a few days and get some work done. Field research is fun. The deskwork can be fun too. Oh—!

I haven’t mentioned the underearning recovery thing in a while but I just wanted you to know that that continues. I’m doing what I’m told and slowly but very surely those patterns are changing. The problem’s never been that I’m lazy as anyone who knows the real me can attest to; I’ve just had invisible barriers to allowing money to come from what I’m good at and the things I’m bringing to the table. Gratefully– very gratefully, that’s all changing. Anyway, since I rambled on so much about it there for a few weeks, I thought I’d let you know. Still recovering. Not giving up. And to the asshole who wrote to me when the subject was first introduced in the blog and said that he had more money than he knew what to do with and the solution to underearning is to get a job– first off, no it’s not. That’s exactly not the solution. And if you have more money than you know what to do with, you must be fucking blind because there are a lot of sick and suffering people in the world. You should put your money to work in ways that can help those who are less fortunate than you. Never call yourself a Christian when you say stupid shit like “I have more money than I know what to do with.” Other than that– I won’t say that you should kill yourself– but at the very least you should go get snipped to make sure that you don’t propagate. As for the fact that you wrote me to say all that stupid hateful shit– you can suck my dick. Actually, no you can’t. Fuck off ass clown.

To the sweet woman who wrote to me last night and admitted that she’s been having thoughts of suicide: please contract with me that before you do anything permanent, you will reach out for help. Let’s also agree that when people kill themselves, they are killing the wrong person. (except for the afore mentioned ass clown) Just because we’ve been hurt doesn’t mean we have to hurt ourselves. Stick around. We need you.

To the man who wrote to me today and said that he was too depressed to go this weekend to meet the man he’s been corresponding with: Look dude, no matter if this ends up being a romance or a bromance, if he can’t handle you when you’re feeling blue, he’s not the one for you. Imagine if you entered into a relationship with someone contingent on your farting rainbows all the time. Friend or husband, that won’t work either way! If people can’t handle all our shades, they’re not worthy of our companionship. Get your ass in your truck and go see him. Just be honest with him about how you’re feeling beforehand and say your interested in a low-key weekend. See how he responds. I know from experience that trying to tackle depression alone is a no-win. I’ll bet if you go visit him this weekend, you’ll actually come away feeling less depressed. Let me know how it turns out.

Okay, it’s half past one in the morning. I have to get to sleep. New Orleans is a town that can turn your clock upside down and inside out. I will say thanks to the good citizens of The Crescent City who received me so graciously (especially the boys) I’ll be back soon, don’t you worry. But for all the recent hospitality, merci beaucoup!

 

Okay, kiddos. I’ll cut you loose until tomorrow. Take some small action in faith right now toward the manifestation of your prosperous vision and I’ll

See y’all tomorrow.