Crossfit Kicked My Ass Today

How did I get here? How did I get to be someone who is so okay with not being perfect, just giving it my best shot? Okay, maybe not “so okay.” I went to Crossfit today. I’ve been dealing with some injuries and it makes something that’s already hard a helluva lot harder. Plus, there were three other Marines in the room and, although I have… hmm, how to put this? Marines have seen me struggle the most. They’ve seen me at my best. They’ve seen me at my worst. These young men are fit too, boy. You should’ve seen them powering out the thrusters and pull-ups. (Fran for y’all in the Crossfit-know.) I’m not prone to self-pity. I ain’t afraid to look stupid even (God knows I do it often enough.) But I’m going to leave it at this: I’m going through a hugh ego-check at present.
My life is good. Sitting at lunch with all my other non-drinkin’ friends today I had the conscious thought, “my life is frickin’ great.” And that’s kinda odd because to tell the truth I spend a lot of my interior-life-time in some kind of “the world is about to end” emotional drama. I have bad dreams a lot. So my first waking minutes are usually trying to rise up out of the emotional residue of the dreams. I have the awareness that it was only a dream and I feel like I should immediately feel better. But I don’t. I lay there for a few minutes feeling as if the horrible monsters that were in the wrecked and submerged car that (against the urgings of those who had already seen it) had been brought to the surface. The monsters aren’t real. But my feelings are.
How’s that for an all-over-the-place blog?
We’ve got company coming at 19:00 and it’s five til now. The photographer who was supposed to come shoot me at 18:00 is late. This should make for an interesting dinner party.
Actually it’s a “game night.” We’re going to play Taboo and Password and Scattagories. ‘won’t be the same without Ru.

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